Completely Subjective: Hugh Seidman’s “I Do Not Know Myself”
When reading the poem “I Do Not Know Myself” by Hugh Seidman, I felt a sense of loneliness. The poem itself explores ideas of identity and belonging, and challenges the reader to think about their basic human existence and refers to the topic of discovering one’s self. This is a topic I can relate to, and I imagine others can relate as well. Discovering yourself and not knowing who you are yet is a basic everyday feeling, and within this poem, Seidman brings that feeling to life. Hugh Seidman was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1940. Seidman has won many awards during his lifetime: the Yale Series of Younger Poets Prize, the Camden Poetry Award, and the New Issues Press Green Rose Prize. Seidman also taught at many universities, including Yale and Columbia. Many of Seidman’s poem titles have similar themes. They all relate to human life and belonging. For example, one of his famous poems, “People Live, They Have Lives,” is a poem about finding love and expressing it. The title itself is enough to understand that this poem has a deeper meaning, but reading the poem also shows Seidman’s connecting themes and talent.
Living in a world where everyone wants to be different, yet everyone is still the same, is difficult. You surround yourself with people you may think make you happy and a certain version of yourself. The poem “I Do Not Know Myself” by Hugh Seidman is a poem about discovering who you are that relates to this idea. I can relate to this poem on many levels. Being a teenage girl in a town where everyone wants to be the same and follow the herd is one of the hardest environments to grow up in. Everyone has to have the same clothes, drive the same car, have the same hair, everything the same. I believe that this pattern is an identity crisis. Seidman uses certain phrases in his poem to express this, “Desire is unchanged / Year on year it is on.” Seidman reveals that certain wants, needs, and desires never fade; they are a constant force in our lives, and they force humans to have desires that lead them to find themselves. Many readers may find that this poem brings comfort in the way it relates to so many. Seidman’s writing exemplifies how everyone has similar struggles and difficulties throughout their lives upon discovering who they are.
Seidman’s poem is related to the complexity of being a human, which he describes through the process of growing up: “Once I was a son/Once I had all the time in the world.” Changing as you grow, losing sense of who you are, and losing innocence with age are all human characteristics that affect who people become. Towards the end of the poem, he also uses the quote, “Now a day starts/Now it ends/Now a window is dark.” There is a constant theme of time throughout the poem, especially towards the end, where Seidman uses the start and end of days to express the passing of time. Throughout time, humans have to discover who they are. We need to figure out what we are going to do with our life and how we are going to live it. I imagine that Seidman expressed this in a way that provides comfort and reflection to the readers. He provides them with moments in existence that everyone can relate to.
“I Do Not Know Myself” is a poem that many can relate to, and that is Seidman’s overall goal. The poem provides a sense of growth and discovery, as well as memories and love. The passing of time and the loss of identity throughout a human life, especially a teenager, is difficult but also exciting. Seidman takes us through that experience with his writing. He creates the most relatable atmosphere—an atmosphere that shows we are not alone in this lifetime. Humans need time to figure everything out. We need time to find out who we are and who we love. Teenagers in this generation may not know who they are yet, and we aren’t supposed to, but Seidman helps us understand that by showing we are not alone and that it’s okay to not know yourself.